When you keep restarting (and how to get back to the important work)
A toolbox for getting yourself unstuck when it matters most - for neurodivergent creatives, by a neurodivergent creative.
Who here is guilty of starting some project or a business idea in a thrill of excitement, and it’s going fine for a while, but then your efforts fade over time and the progress stalls before the finish line. Have you ever done this? Asked yourself, “why can’t I just finish something?” Or, “why did I start this thing again?” I am guilty of restarting my business and rewriting my book, over and over again.
We get no satisfaction or product by starting over and over again, and frankly, we are hard-working and creative people who deserve to see the fruits of our labors come back to us. So, for each excuse given below I offer a counter-excuse to help refuel the creative fire that once burned bright.
“Life keeps getting in the way”
Real life comes first, and in a very unsubtle way tells you “Forget your creative dreams; they don’t matter.” Maybe this was even explicitly said to you by a guardian or an authority figure when you were young. This is especially hard when you are already struggling with dis-regulation, overwork, and burn-out.
Counter-Excuse: “Life won’t grant you permission”
Life doesn’t care about your art or your creative expression, so why wait around for some imaginary cosmic sign or voice to tell you “It’s time.” As creative people with creative spirits, it’s natural to heed that inner call to make things. Take a moment to grant yourself the permission you’ve been looking for out in the world and in other people.
“I don’t like the idea anymore”
You can’t force yourself to try again because there is no reward in the process of doing it anymore. And it can be really disheartening when you cared and put so much effort, planning, and resources into an idea that loses its spark, collecting dust in the corner of the mind.
Counter-Excuse: “Losing shine can be co-opted”
It’s not a bad idea, maybe it can be zhuged up a little bit. When an idea loses its novelty, its shimmer, we forget that we can take some of the shiny feelings we have for something new and try to apply it to that old idea. Don’t throw out the old thing in lieu of this a new, shimmery one! In the case this shimmer cannot be applied to your creative goals, maybe it’s time to take a break to explore the new shiny thing for a short time.
“This is too much work/there’s not enough”
If you can’t keep up with all that is required to make a creative idea flourish into real, tangible outcomes, you can stall, and overwhelm will halt your progress in its tracks. Overwhelm due to lack of material is also a real and uncomfortable problem to run into while starting a new creative project.
Counter-Excuse: “Too much means more to work with”
If the idea is too big, this is actually a good thing overall. Because now, you have more to work with and try out in various ways. Sometimes, synthesizing an idea is the missing piece of your process to get you to start with confidence.
“No one sees or cares”
Shouting into a void is a real and disheartening factor in any creative endeavor; sometimes it’s enough reason to give up.
Counter-Excuse: “Find the people who do care”
Consider who might be interested in your work and try sharing your stuff in a relevant time and place for those people. It’s a big world out there; the people who do actually care are out there somewhere, and will likely eat your work up like Halloween candy.
“I can’t compete with the others out there”
You might have the thought, “If there are better artists and creatives out there doing it and they are my competition for attention, I can’t compete with them.“ And you aren’t the only one.
Counter-Excuse: “Make friends, not enemies”
Everyone has to start somewhere, and each of those other voices on the subject had to start like you did. Seek to make connections in the area of interest to find a sense of community and support.
“Endings mean judgement”
Because… ending means people will be free to judge your work, and by extension you.
Counter-Excuse: “Doing it is the point”
When you do the thing for your own benefit and you make something you enjoy and are proud of, whatever anyone has to say on the issue will lose its bite.
“This is taking too long”/the Timeline™
You can readjust and retry to make those deadlines as many times as you like, but you still just can’t get yourself to accomplish it. Sometimes, when a project just takes longer than expected, you run the risk of losing steam through loss of interest too.
Counter-Excuse: Use it as motivation, or scrap it entirely
Don’t get ahead of yourself! You would spend time and energy better if you put aside the timeline and just think about where you actually are in the process and imagine new ways to make that part more shiny and exciting so that you don’t give up.
Conclusion
When it comes to our creative endeavors, there are lots of obstacles that get in the way, or we allow to be put in our way. Anxiety-driven decisions, overwhelm, forgetfulness, lack of novelty, rejection sensitivity, and obscurity. But in the end, these things don’t go away no matter how many times we start over. One idea won’t be the one that removes all these obstacles forever, because if you’re anything like me, you’ve been through this song and dance dozens of times all to the same result.
Instead, do it because you are compelled to, because it’s important to you, and because you feel better when you do it. No one can take that away from you and it rewards you in the act of doing it anyway. Then, finally, you will have accomplished the thing! You win at creativity! And wasn’t that the issue at hand?
